when will I have a perfect life?

Newflash:  I WON’T.

Of course — don’t get me wrong — I’ve known this fact for a long time.  But knowing it and living it are two different things.  And folks, I haven’t been living it.

I’ve been living in the neurotic delusion that somehow, someday — X, Y, and Z will happen.  All the time.  Every day.  No exceptions.

I will be a cleaner person.

I will be a calmer person.

I will be a _____er person.

Someday, the house will always be perfectly clean.  Someday, I will get enough sleep.  Someday, I will get to run 30 miles a week.  Someday, I will — someday someday someday.

The other night, a small voice broke through the somedays:  Rachel, your life will never be perfect.  Stop chasing the someday.  It’s not going to happen.

On some days, the house will be perfectly clean.  On some days, I will get enough sleep.  On some days, I will run an excessive amount of miles.

But those some days will not fall within the same week every single week for the rest of my life.  I will have seasons.  Many of those seasons will be stressful, and that will involve papers strewn over the dining room table, a sleepless night holding an infant, and not having the chance to get some energy-boosting exercise.  But I CAN have each of these things at separate times.

My life will never be perfect.

Your life will never be perfect.

It’s rather freeing, you know?  Admitting:  Ok.  I’m not superwoman.  I’m not all-powerful.  And that is normal.

It gives me a chance to ask:  What CAN I do today that will matter?  What can wait until tomorrow — or next week?

Do you wrestle with these “must-be-perfect” thoughts?  What do you do with them?

(A big thank you to everyone who responded with so many thoughtful comments on my last post — mainly on FB.  I will write up something soon in response to your responses.)

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2 thoughts on “when will I have a perfect life?

  1. This brings to mind D.W. Winnicott’s theory of the “Good Enough Mother” (http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/headshrinkers-guide-the-galaxy/201205/in-search-the-good-enough-mother)
    This theory can work in other aspects of a person’s life, too. I like it because it doesn’t employ black and white thinking, it lives in the grey. Perfectionists have a hard time living in the grey. That’s where acceptance/sanity lies, I think, in the in-between.
    – Kate

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