Newflash: I WON’T.
Of course — don’t get me wrong — I’ve known this fact for a long time. But knowing it and living it are two different things. And folks, I haven’t been living it.
I’ve been living in the neurotic delusion that somehow, someday — X, Y, and Z will happen. All the time. Every day. No exceptions.
I will be a cleaner person.
I will be a calmer person.
I will be a _____er person.
Someday, the house will always be perfectly clean. Someday, I will get enough sleep. Someday, I will get to run 30 miles a week. Someday, I will — someday someday someday.
The other night, a small voice broke through the somedays: Rachel, your life will never be perfect. Stop chasing the someday. It’s not going to happen.
On some days, the house will be perfectly clean. On some days, I will get enough sleep. On some days, I will run an excessive amount of miles.
But those some days will not fall within the same week every single week for the rest of my life. I will have seasons. Many of those seasons will be stressful, and that will involve papers strewn over the dining room table, a sleepless night holding an infant, and not having the chance to get some energy-boosting exercise. But I CAN have each of these things at separate times.
My life will never be perfect.
Your life will never be perfect.
It’s rather freeing, you know? Admitting: Ok. I’m not superwoman. I’m not all-powerful. And that is normal.
It gives me a chance to ask: What CAN I do today that will matter? What can wait until tomorrow — or next week?
Do you wrestle with these “must-be-perfect” thoughts? What do you do with them?
(A big thank you to everyone who responded with so many thoughtful comments on my last post — mainly on FB. I will write up something soon in response to your responses.)